"One Of Those Days" Becomes A Food Challenge!

The last week hasn't been the best for me. I've had a few productive bursts of activity, but for the most part I've not been up to much more than playing Facebook games. The kind I hate, but find myself unable to stop playing. I've been suffering from pretty bad headaches and really tired. I think I've just reached a stage in my recovery where I need to start doing more, but I'm stuck in a chicken and egg scenario - I've not got anything to do I've been out of action so long!

I start extra work with Discover Your Bounce next month which will help - 3 days a week of getting up and going to work rather than 'working' from the sofa in my pjs. But that doesn't help me this week, where I've got a few small tasks to get done but at my own pace and without a deadline.

Today has been the peak of the problem, but has also unwittingly offered me a solution. I've been out of action most of the day with another headache - this one worse than usual. Just reading, chilling, trying not to make it worse. So it wasn't until I was making dinner and went to put something in the freezer that I realised it was unplugged... and most of the contents were either defrosted or halfway there. Oops! Pretty much everything had to go in the bin, since we can't work out when it must have been unplugged and what state of defrost the items were in.

Here's the kicker - most of the food was on the meal plan for this week, meaning all of our planned meals have to be scrapped and we're still 5 days from our normal shopping day. Bummer, huh?

After being royally p***ed off for a bit, I decided to set myself a little food challenge for the week. I'm not going to go shopping until our next regular shop. All meals will be made from what we have to hand at home (luckily we had a little excess meat in the fridge still waiting to be frozen). The only exception to this will be picking up some fresh veg to accompany meals as we're running low.

I'm also going for a second challenge - to restock the freezer with healthy meal components to reduce the number of takeaways we have (we've been getting lazy lately). This'll be a combination of chopped veg to throw into soups, curries & chillies, some pre-cooked shredded chicken and batch meals of some of our favourite things. It's something I've been meaning to do for a while, so this was a bittersweet kick in the bum for me to get on and do it.

I'll update you to my progress soon, perhaps with some recipes too as I've found some new ones to try! :)

Do you set yourself food challenges? Let me know in the comments!

5 Ways To Make Money From Home With Chronic Pain

Although the pain aspect of my endometriosis is less of an issue in my life now I still struggle with daily energy levels, especially since my most recent op. I can spend the day sitting on the sofa getting minor work tasks done and streaming tv shows and still be ready for bed by 8pm. Even my 'active' days don't come close to a traditional day of work. So like almost every other chronic illness sufferer I've spent quite a lot of time thinking of and trying out ways to make an income from home. I've yet to crack it so that the bills get paid without my main job (or even close for that matter!), but I have the small beginnings of income that lessen the burden on my main job and I wanted to share these ideas so you can try them too. Some of them I've tried myself while others are ideas friends of mine have done. :)

All of these ideas will work for anyone - you don't have to be a chronic pain sufferer! But they are designed to take very little energy, or capitalise on the 'good days' where you can invest some time and effort for future benefit.

1. Etsy

First up, the most well-known way to make money from home. People often think of making craft items as the way to make money on Etsy, but you can sell a lot more than just handmade cards and headbands. You can sell your own prints, screensavers, mobile accessories, wedding supplies... the list is endless! The best way to get inspiration is to head over there and take a browse through existing items.

If you're selling physical items this option will require some energy investment on 'good days' to keep your shop stocked and ship items when they sell, or at least a willing friend who will help out. With digital products it's a little easier as you'll likely be spending time on the computer anyway.

2. Sell Your Graphic Designs

Are you talented on Photoshop or other design software? Ever wanted to see your designs come to life on t-shirts, mugs, tote bags etc? There are websites you can sign up with that will add your designs to any multitude of items to be sold to the public for a cut of the price. There are plenty of options to choose from! Why not check out this article on selling your graphic designs?

This is a great option as if you're interested in designing you probably already have a back catalogue of designs that you can get started with. Plus as mentioned above you'll also likely be spending time online anyway.

3. Amazon Associates

Got a bit of a reputation as the go-to person for tech advice, film suggestions or new books to read? Why not become an Amazon Associate? By signing up as an affiliate you can create your own unique links to products in their store and earn a percentage when someone buys through your link. The great thing is you get commission on everything that person buys within 24 hours of clicking, not just the product you sent them to. Commission rates vary from 5-9% depending on the items you recommend and how much you sell each month and minimum payout is £25.

The great thing about this idea is that you can create unique links in minutes and you get a generic link for the Amazon homepage too. Many of my sales have come from friends and family who have saved my link in place of going directly to the site and do all their usual shopping through that link.

4. Blogging

If you're passionate about a hobby or topic and pretty nifty with words (yes, I said nifty) then you could start your own blog - just like I've done! There are plenty of ways to monetise a blog from advertising (Google AdSense is the most common) to affiliate links and even selling your own e-books and products. Here's a great list of the top ways to make money from blogging. Focus on good quality, interesting content and promoting it in the right places rather than for profit though. Profits are usually a side-effect of having a well-run blog!

Blogging can take energy and creative thinking, so if you find yourself in a writing mood it's best to try and get ahead on the weeks' posts. That way when you're too tired to write you'll have something to post anyway. This is something I'm still trying to work on as you might tell!

5. Game Streaming

This is a new one I've been looking into over the last few weeks and something I'm about to start doing with Tom. Twitch gives gamers the capability of broadcasting their screens and audio/webcam for others to watch them play. There are a number of requirements to monetising these streams such as broadcasting regularly and having a large following, but that shouldn't be seen as a barrier if you're a serious gamer anyway.

The benefit to this idea is that if you're not feeling up to working/chores etc. people will often spend time playing games anyway, so why not make money from something you're already going to do?

All of these options require time and energy to build up - none are overnight money-makers. However with dedication and time they have the ability to completely replace a 9-5 income and they're a lot more flexible and understanding than a boss!

Have you tried any of the above methods for making money from home? Or do you have other methods you use that others could replicate? I'd love to hear your experiences in the comments!

My Endo Exercise Plan

As I mentioned in a recent blog post, 2 weeks ago I went on a VIP Mastermind Day with Discover Your Bounce. One of my goals that came from the day was to get my body back to health - something I've been neglecting for quite some time now. But I had no idea how I was going to do that, until yesterday.

I've come up with an #EndoFitPlan that I'm trialing for the next 3 weeks (ie the rest of April) to see if I can gain some momentum on exercising again. The premise is very simple - if I exercise for 5 minutes each day, I get a star on the calendar. The idea is that 5 minutes is a very easy goal to reach. I could just walk to the end of my road and back and that'll be a star for the day. But once I get out there I will inevitably end up doing more.

For example yesterday I decided to walk some stuff up to the charity shop & buy veg for dinner (35 minutes) and today once I reached the bridge in the park (my personal 'end point' goal) I kept on going to a quiet part of the river to chill for a bit (20 minutes). So in just two days my 10 minutes has turned into 55 minutes!

"What's the point of the stars?" you might be asking. They're my way of keeping track of what treats I'm owed at the end of each week/month - oh yes, there are treats! I know I should just exercise for the health benefits, but if that were enough motivation I would be doing it already wouldn't I? So here's my treat system for the next 3 weeks:

Weekly
3 stars: A face mask
5 stars: A fruit smoothie
7 stars: A small chocolate bar (hey, I deserve it!)

Monthly
6 stars (2 x a week): 1 hour of uninterrupted reading (I do this anyway, but I usually feel guilty!)
12 stars (4 x a week): A new song for my iPod
18 stars (6 x a week): Upgrade to a big chocolate bar (I'm walking 6 times a week, I really deserve it!)
21 stars (every day!): A new book or album

I've tried to keep the treats small but cumulative, so in theory at the end of each week I get a little 'me time' where I can put on a face mask and enjoy a little snack if I've reached my goals. The last week of the month will be rewarded with monthly instead of weekly treats (although who's to say I won't have a face mask and smoothie anyway!).

If this works I'll probably come up with a different treat system that's more reflective of my habits, or maybe a new one each month depending on what I fancy, but for a trial I think it's a pretty good one. :)

Does anyone else want to join me for this? We could get an online group together to motivate each other and offer support. :) I've chosen walking since I live across the road from a beautiful park with a stream running through, but you could do yoga at home, swimming, or even just jogging on the spot! We don't have to do the same thing. Let me know in the comments or message me on my Facebook Page if you're interested!

Our Endometriosis Interview with The Digestion Detective

On the 26th of March Kassi and I had a lovely chat with Sam from The Digestion Detective all about Endometriosis and our fundraising efforts, specifically #ShaveForEndo. We covered what endometriosis is, some top tips for getting help from your doctor and the basics to starting the endo diet. We also explained what fundraising we've done so far, plans for the future and why we think Endometriosis UK is such a great charity! You can listen to the full interview here:

Moments after Kassi saw her new 'do' for the first time!

Donate to #ShaveForEndo
Find out more about Endometriosis UK

Overcoming Down Days

This week has been particularly tough for me. Recovery from my gallbladder removal hasn't been as fast as I'd like, returning to work has been difficult and exhausting and I've felt very stuck in what to do about it all. Tuesday everything came to head after I had to leave a course early out of sheer exhaustion. It was my first attempt at an all-day activity, which in my eyes should've been easy 4 weeks after surgery and yet that wasn't the case.

Thankfully I'm feeling better now. Thanks to the help from Tom, my mum and a friend who have all done their best to cheer me up but also give practical help and advice, I've got a path forward again and some tactics in place to regain my energy.

Since I've found these ideas so helpful in this last week alone, I wanted to share a few with you guys so that you too could pull through tough times a little easier. :)

Wear Bright Colours

When you're not feeling great it can be tempting to hide away in your oldest, comfiest pjs or big baggy clothes if you have to go out. Instead, put on your brightest top or bling it up with some pretty accessories. The colours will give you an energetic and mood boost each time you catch your reflection. This week I've made sure to pull out my Spring wardrobe and wear my pastel pinks and grass greens, leaving the Winter shades in the drawer!

Get More Sleep

It might sound obvious or easier said than done, but whether it's a nap or an early night you need to let your body rest. Things always feel a lot worse when you're tired, which is exactly why Tuesday was so difficult for me, so the best thing you can do is write off the 'should do's and make time for some extra sleep instead.

Dance Around To Your Favourite Song

You might not feel like you have the energy for dancing at this stage, but even a little wiggle or foot tap while seated will get you started. By picking your favourite song you're reminding yourself of happier times and by dancing you're getting your energy moving and waking up those endorphins. This was how I spent Wednesday morning while getting ready for work and it kept me going much longer than usual!

Talk To The People Who 'Get' You

Pushing through a tough time alone can be torture. You get stuck in your own negative spirals and it can get even harder to pull yourself out of it. Talk to someone (or a couple of someones) who understand you and will appreciate the fact you're not just 'having an off day'. They're the ones who can put things in perspective for you, remind you of why you're great and also take your mind of the problems for a little while. This is where my support group really came through for me this week and I'm very grateful to have them.

Cut Yourself Some Slack

It's not easy to be happy 100% of the time and if you're facing chronic pain or illness that's doubly true. Endometriosis can mess with your hormones (which is why a balanced diet can help so much), wear you out and make you snappy even when you're feeling your best so if you're not firing on all cylinders don't beat yourself up. The best thing you can do is admit you're not at your best right now and look after yourself instead of feeling guilty.

It's not easy to pull out of a tough time (otherwise it wouldn't be called tough!) but that doesn't mean you have to give in to it. Taking small steps over time will turn things around and until things are better at least these tips will give you some bright moments among the hard ones. :)

What are your cheer up tips? What helps you pull out of a funk when things are particularly tiring for you? I'd love to hear in the comments below!

#ShaveForEndo

Last Monday my sister Kassi did an incredibly brave thing: she shaved off all her hair to raise money for Endometriosis UK and awareness for the disease. It was part of a larger goal to raise £1000 for Endometriosis UK this year and she's already made a lot of headway into that goal. She set her target for this event at £100, but reached that well before the event itself and the total currently sits at £284 with a few more donations yet to be received.

The event itself was at a local hotel and around 20 people attended. I started the evening by giving a short talk about what endo is, why we're raising money and also a little about the charity before we got on with the shaving. Being the "guest of honour" as it were, I was the lucky person that got to cut her plait off (which she is donating to a company that makes wigs for chemo patients - double good karma!) and it was a fun task. As a side note, plaits are hard to cut through and take ages!

Once the plait was off we charged £1 for the guests who wanted to cut off a lovely lock - it was a surprisingly popular activity! Then the lovely Kate Kingston set about the tricky task of shaving off the patches of hair that were left and evening Kassi out while everyone else purchased raffle tickets.

There were a few tears when Kassi first saw her newly-shaved head, but since she'd just spent 30 hours travelling back from a wedding in New Zealand I think we can put that down to emotional tiredness! There was also a lot of time spent parading around with the plait and letting people feel her fuzzy head. It sounds very odd, but it was highly entertaining at the time!

The night ended with the raffle, where everyone sat with their fingers crossed hoping to win a bottle of wine or port! I even won a gift voucher to go and see Kate when it's time for my next trim. :)

Overall we raised £64 on the night between the raffle, the hair cutting and generous donations and people have continued to donate over the last week. We're getting so close to £300 now and it'd be great if we could break that milestone! We've even been invited to do a few interviews to continue raising awareness and talk about why it's so important to us. It's really exciting to have the opportunity to reach more people and raise awareness about endo.

If you'd like to donate you can visit our JustGiving page - we really appreciate anything you can spare!

Now I'm off to remind Kassi that she resembles a potato...

Before & After

An Unexpected Break

Wow, has it really been a month since our engagement party and my last post? So much has happened since then! Today I'm here to apologise for my absence and explain...

As I write I'm sitting in baggy clothing surrounded by boxes of medication, plenty of entertainment and moving carefully so I don't pull my now-healing incisions. It sounds dramatic, but really the drama has been the last 4 weeks!

On the Wednesday after our party while working at the local business park I became very unwell and rushed home to be sick. I thought  I'd caught a stomach bug, but it lasted a lot longer than 24 hours. I visited my GP on the Friday as I was still being sick and hadn't kept food down in days. She told me to keep hydrated but little else. By Sunday I was going noticeably yellow - even the whites of my eyes(!) - so I headed to the out of hours GP.

I have to pause here and say I've got huge respect for the NHS 111 service, who were absolutely brilliant in helping me at every stage of this journey.

Following the GP visit was a trip to the hospital for blood tests which showed jaundice. We went back Monday for more tests and by bedtime I was admitted to the surgical ward! It turns out my gallbladder was full of stones and a very unhappy bunny indeed. A week after first being sick I was in surgery to have it removed, followed by gallstone removal from my blocked bile duct the next day.

It sounds like the story would end there, but shortly after being released I developed pretty severe tonsilitis. For 2 short days I was starting to eat again, only to be reduced to a liquid-only diet! Some antibiotics for that and another week later I was starting to recover again... only for one of my incisions to open back up! Some more time spent in A & E and it turns out there's a small infection preventing it from closing. I'm coming to the end of those antibiotics but now I've broken the joint on my baby finger! I've no idea how - I was sleeping - but it's the one I broke when I was 17 so it was probably already weak in some way.

And that concludes my dramatic 4 weeks! My incisions are finally closing, my throat is better and my finger will mend in time. I can now get back to working, blogging and raising more awareness for Endometriosis! And speaking of endo, we held an event on Monday to raise money and awareness. I guess I'll have to do a few catch up blogs to bring you up to speed since this one is long enough already!

Now it's time to head to bed (at 8pm!) for some much needed sleep. Anyone else missing a gallbladder, or had an interesting few weeks? Let me know in the comments!

The Endometriosis Diet: Eggs & Soy

Why cut out eggs & soy?

The simple answer is that both contain oestrogen which can exacerbate endometriosis symptoms, but in the case of soy it also goes a lot deeper than that. Traditional processing methods typically found in Asia result in a fairly 'safe' version of the bean, which if used minimally can be part of a balanced endo diet. However modern processing methods involve high levels of chemicals and strip the bean of almost all nutritious value. Rather than dig into it here, you should head to this article by Endo Resolved which explains exactly why soy is such a bad ingredient for endo sufferers.

As for eggs, the occasional one in a cake recipe is fine, but for the most part eliminating them will help reduce your symptoms. Also take care to stick to organic, free range eggs - commercial hens are given additional hormones and antibiotics to make them grow faster which will be passed on through their eggs.

Effects on Endometriosis

As endometriosis is largely fed by too much oestrogen in the body, reducing your intake of foods that contain oestrogen will at the least prevent symptoms from getting worse. In best case scenarios symptoms can be completely eliminated. By balancing your hormones you can take advantage of a number of benefits, better explained by this article.

Cutting them from your diet

Depending on the type of diet you already follow it may be fairly simple to remove eggs and, with a little care, soy too. This was the case for me as I did little baking at the time and wasn't a huge soy fan either. Even if they are a large part of your daily diet, there are substitutes and alternatives to both.

Egg replacements can be ordered online or found in health food shops. The one I've been using is Orgran No Egg, Gluten Free* and I've found it hugely useful for baking and even making endo-friendly homemade KFC! It doesn't help cakes to rise though, so you may need to add a little extra baking powder when you're baking.

As for soy, while you should limit your intake it is still possible to include some in your diet. Look out for traditionally-brewed soy sauce, which won't contain the excess aluminium and phytic acid that is found in modern processes. I personally use Clearspring Organic Tamari* that's also gluten free (seriously, you'd be surprised how many soy sauces contain wheat!) and I really like it. You can also include traditionally prepared Miso, Tempeh and Tofu, although you'll need to do your own research into those as I haven't tried them yet!

Eating out

This is where is become a little trickier, as to avoid eggs and dairy you often have to choose from the vegan menu but this is often where you'll find the soy products instead. Your best options are to stick to vegetarian, not vegan, where possible and simply ask for no dairy/egg, but this isn't possible. The only real advice I can give in this area is to ask/visit a restaurant before you go there for a meal to see what options are available. In the UK it is now law that anywhere serving food has allergen information for everything on the menu, so it should become a lot easier than it used to be!

Roundup

Avoiding gluten and dairy becomes easy with practice and there are plenty of substitutes out there for them. When it comes to eggs and soy products, it becomes a little harder. You'll find them in places you didn't expect such as soya lecithins in chocolate, or in a free-from products since a lot of vegan substitutes rely on soy instead and egg isn't usually considered an allergen to be removed. However with a little effort and a few replacement ingredients you'll barely notice they're missing. :)

Have you cut out eggs or soy from your diet? How easy did you find it to do?

Birthdays, Parties & Blog Breaks

For those of you who don't know (shame on you), Friday was my birthday! It was also Tom's birthday last week, so we wrote the whole week off as one giant birthday celebration! It was great fun, although it did mean a break from the internet, so sorry for the lack of planned blogs!

On Tuesday (his birthday) I got him a bottle of Cinnamon & Vanilla Jaeger to try as he's been going on about it for months now (we don't buy alcohol very often) and it was a hit, so I was very pleased with myself. I also got myself some Peach Bellini Oddka, which is reeeally nice with vanilla coke as a side note.

Thursday was an exciting day as I went to the casino to pay for our engagement party (4 days to go!) with Kassi (Maid of Honour #1 & Sister). Tom was too poorly to join us - probably from the jaeger! We had a tour of the casino for Kassi's benefit, discussed last minute details and had a free bet on the roulette wheel which we didn't win...

Then we wandered on over to trade in a game for Tom and get him a new one - Dragon Age: Inquisition - which I'm completely hooked on now. Seriously, I've spent about 15 hours on it over 3 days: obsessed. It took us a ridiculously long time to walk back to the car which made Kassi late for picking our cousin up from school, so I tagged along for the ride. My sides physically hurt by the time I got home from laughing so hard. There's nothing quite like time with family who think just like you!

This doesn't do it justice - it's bright red!

Friday was my birthday! I spent 4.5 hours in the salon - way more than the 2.5 I thought I'd be - getting my hair done and was starving by the time I eventually got home. I had just enough time to throw a pretty dress and some make up on before heading out to the Bonzo Lounge - a new place that's just opened up in Keynsham that does endo-friendly meals. I've been waiting to try this place out for weeks now and it was definitely worth it! I had a gluten-free harissa-spiced chicken burger with hummus instead of mayo. Yum! Plus a few too many cocktails, so Saturday didn't start too well for me, haha!

The weekend was spent playing Dragon Age and visiting fam for a good catch up. Plus I went to see 50 Shades of Grey with the girls Sunday night. I wasn't expecting much and really was just going for the girl-time, but it was actually alright. I think it was better to go in with low expectations as I was pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed, haha.

This week I have my uncle's birthday & my mum's, my scan and the engagement party so it's another busy one for me! But I think I prefer busy weeks - I was getting into the habit of a few too many pj days lately!

How about you? Busy busy busy or still hibernating for winter? :)

Diagnosed With Endometriosis: Now What?

The information you get shortly after being diagnosed with endometriosis will vary depending on where you're being treated, the doctor/consultant you speak to and your mental state (I was told shortly after waking from anaesthetic, so I missed a lot of the conversation!). If a specialist carried out your surgery you may receive excellent care and information, but for many they are diagnosed via exploratory surgery performed by a general gyne surgeon. They often have limited knowledge of the specifics of endometriosis and rarely know alternatives to medical treatment. For example when I asked my consultant if there were lifestyle changes I could make to complement treatment I was told a flat no - but further research has shown a wide variety of options!

So what should your first steps be upon receiving a diagnosis?

1. Rest

How you feel after surgery will vary - some people won't need telling twice to rest up and recover as they'll be feeling lethargic and in pain. Others will be experiencing their first hours of life without chronic pain and will consider themselves to be feeling fine. I was in this camp, feeling alert and energetic once the anaesthetic had worn off. If this is you, please rest. Your insides will still be healing even if you feel fine!

2. Research Endometriosis

Even if you received a lot of information about your diagnosis, there is still a lot of information for you to find out there. Your doctor will have advised you of their recommended treatment, but be aware this is not always the best route suited to your situation and beliefs, merely their opinion. You'll meet some doctors who know lots about endometriosis and others who have barely heard of it, so the best way to advocate for your own situation is to become knowledgeable about endo yourself. A brilliant book I read early on was Living Well With Endometriosis: What Your Doctor Doesn't Tell You That You Need To Know*. It goes through everything you could want to know about endo in great detail - from the history of its discovery, to exactly what endometriosis is, treatment options and research into causes and future treatments. You don't need a medical degree to read it, but it does contain medical terms that you may need to look up.

3. Find support

It's not easy receiving an endometriosis diagnosis, especially if you have chronic pain symptoms or fertility issues. Even if you just don't know what it is, or need to speak to someone who understands, a support group is full of people ready and willing to help. Endometriosis UK offer a number of physical and online support groups you can participate in, a helpline if you need to talk to someone and an online forum for discussion. Facebook has hundreds of support groups set up by women with endometriosis too - some private so friends and family can't see and others open to help raise awareness. Find a place full of people you connect with so that you have support during the harder times and friends for the fun times.

4. Look into complementary options

If you've found this blog you might already be at this stage, which is great! There are a number of options you have that can complement or replace traditional medicine depending on your beliefs and situation. The Endometriosis Diet is a step you can take immediately towards reducing the symptoms of endo and improving your health. A book I recommend frequently is Recipes & Diet Advice For Endometriosis* - it explains everything in detail, provides recommendations for alternative foods and has hundreds of recipes.

Other options include starting a personalised exercise routine designed to ease and stretch your body without worsening your symptoms (yoga and swimming are particularly good at this) and finding alternative therapies that also help with symptoms such as Reflexology and Reiki. You can also look into supplements that assist digestion, hormone balance and pain relief such as turmeric, B vitamins, evening primrose oil etc. Always check with doctors before starting supplements to make sure they don't interfere with medication.

5. Find things you love that aren't hindered by Endometriosis

One realisation I came to not long ago was that I let all my loves and hobbies slip away over the course of my endo journey to date. Between periods of chronic pain, lethargy and trying to keep an income, I had little energy left for some of the  things I used to love doing such as baking (couldn't stand for very long), reading and crafts (both tired me too quickly). If I could go back I would make time for those things as I think they would've helped my mental health and recovery more than I thought they would at the time.

Whether it's a new television series, photography, writing.. there are plenty of hobbies that won't irritate your symptoms. Even ones that do can be adapted to suit - I've found ways of standing longer for baking for example. The real message I want to convey here is don't let endometriosis become who you are, which is possible if you're suffering constant symptoms rather than cyclical ones.

What did you do when you were first diagnosed? Are there other steps you would add to this? I'd love to hear your experiences in the comments! :)

*These are Amazon Associate links - I make a small commission on the books if you buy them. I own both of these books, highly recommend them and would never link to a product I didn't fully back myself.

The Endometriosis Diet: Alternatives to Dairy

Why Cut Out dairy?

Dairy is not an easy thing to cut from your diet, but there are a number of reasons that make it worth it. Dairy products have a high-fat content that contains oestrogen - a hormone that endometriosis sufferers often have too much of already. Oestrogen controls a number of processes in the body, but most importantly it controls our reproductive system and an imbalance of the hormone is closely linked to endometriosis. It 'feeds' the endometrial cells.

Series 2 prostaglandins are found in dairy and are known to promote an inflammatory response in the body. I'll devote another blog to these pesky things as they're also found in red meats and aren't easy to summarise!

Dairy can also cause a host of digestive issues such as constipation or difficulty absorbing other nutrients in your food. And finally there are a number of intolerances that are caused or worsened by dairy - not just the obvious lactose intolerance - that can manifest as illnesses such as asthma, eczema and arthritis.

Whether you're feeling the effects of all of these problems or just one, cutting dairy could give you a significant reduction in symptoms.

Cutting Dairy From Your Diet

Initially it can be tricky to get your head around all of the products that contain dairy - even things you wouldn't expect like salt and vinegar crisps! But as you acclimatise to your new diet it becomes second nature and the habits you develop will make it much easier to avoid.

I'd start by replacing your milk with a simple unsweetened nut milk such as almond or hazelnut. The taste is quite creamy and easy to adjust to and nut milk can be used the same as normal cows milk - in hot drinks, on cereal and in baking etc. These are found in the same section as normal milk and are slightly more expensive, but also have a much longer use by date so if you're an infrequent milk drinker you may even end up saving money - we have! :)

Once you've cut milk out, it gets easier to remove or find alternative products like cheese and butter. Sadly I've yet to find an alternative to cheese (vegan cheese contains soy), but I live in hope!

A Note On Yoghurt

Although a dairy product, there are certain types of yoghurt that are actually beneficial for the endometriosis diet. Commercial yoghurts are highly processed, sweetened and full of sugar, whereas the healthy yoghurts tend to be natural 'live' versions that contain bacteria that promote a healthy gut. These yoghurts can be made from animal milks as well as nut milks, however animal milk is still harder to digest and nut yoghurts would be better for you.

Dairy Free Dining

While not as common as gluten free, dairy free menu options are starting to become more popular - especially in new restaurants and smaller chains. They're often found in the vegan section, although don't assume that normal items can't be made dairy free. Often it's as simple as asking for no cheese/cream dip etc. If in doubt ask for the allergen information to go alongside the menu - restaurants now have to have this information by law so it's about to become much easier to dine out than it used to be!

Alternatives To Dairy

As mentioned already it's possible to get nut milks to replace dairy products. You can also get nut butters and yoghurts too. Rice milk is another alternative that you can buy from health stores - I've even seen it in larger Asda stores! Less obvious substitutes are water or fruit juices, depending on the use. For example water is a healthier alternative for hot chocolate and fruit juice can be used as a sweetener in baking.

Butter is fairly simple to replace too - simply use an olive or sunflower oil based spread. These should appear either in the butter section or closeby, depending on the store layout.

As I said, the only alternative I've yet to find is cheese. I've heard that cheeses made from nut milk do exist, but I've yet to find them and I'm pretty sure they'll come with a price tag I won't want to pay!

Roundup

While it's less common to cut dairy from your diet than gluten, in many ways it's easier as there are less products for you to slip up on. I would caution you to check labels, as milk can creep into some products you wouldn't expect it to, but you'll get used to this over time. Removing dairy can have a host of benefits, from clearer skin to less painful cramps and a healthier digestion.

Have you tried a dairy free diet? What alternatives do you use? And if you've found a dairy free cheese substitute (that isn't made from soya) I'd love to know!

Things That Hurt In The Night: Back Pain Edition

As I write this it's currently 4.10am which means it's exactly one hour since I got up and also 6 hours since I went to bed. I'm functioning on a grand total of 5 hours sleep, which is ironic since earlier I was explaining to a friend that I don't function on less than 8 and preferably 9-10.

Sometimes this is all I'm good for...

Lately my back pain has been getting worse. I'm taking the hot water bottle to bed nightly now and even using it through the day. I wake up sore and stiff, like I slept funny, with all kinds of knots even though my sleeping habits haven't changed. Some days I can't even bend forwards without a huge protest from my back and I have to start the day slow, warming into anything that requires retrieving items from the floor or low drawers. The next step to this pain if I don't do something about it (and it's already starting to creep round) is pain in my ribs and chest, like a band where my bra would go if it wasn't too painful to wear.

I know it's the endo because it flares around my cycle and the pain is only eased by a scalding hot water bottle. By the time you can bear to have it on your skin for longer than 10 seconds it's too cool, so you'll often find my back covered in angry red patches.

You have a cure for back pain?

No amount of stretching will ease the pain, although it does give me a brief respite mid-stretch (and some insanely satisfying clicks and cracks) that I reach for ridiculously often even though I know it's only  fleeting. I used to see an osteopath regularly and that did help, but it was costing between £80-160/month and going any less than once a fortnight meant the effects didn't last between sessions. I also tried weekly hot stone massages - the painful remedial kind, not the relaxing ones - but the relief of those only lasted a few days at most and were similarly £100/month. Weekly personal training sessions meant that my back pain eased more long term too, but even those were coming in at £80-100/month and sometimes aggravated the pelvic pain to boot. Conclusion: back pain is expensive!

So I've established that stretching - the kind that comes with exercise and massage - is the key to reducing this pain. But here's where I'm stuck: how do you exercise when you're already in pain? Not just in your back but in your pelvis too? Even walking pulls at the pain in my abdomen and the stretching from yoga on the Wii Fit that I was finding helped my back does little for the other pains.

I'm going swimming with mum tomorrow, so perhaps that will offer me the gentle exercise I need to stretch everything without pulling. That would be a nice hobby to take up again, it's been years (and years and years... almost 15?) since I went regularly.

If that fails I'm just gonna have to live in exercise clothing and jump into exercise the moment I get any reprieve! Or create some kind of hot water bottle outfit on the suggestion of another friend. Either way, I need to find some way to get more quality sleep, because 5 hours is just not enough for a happy Ami!

Do you have pains that aren't typical endo but you know they're related? Or tricks that help with your pain? I'd love to hear your thoughts - I know it's not just me up at odd hours!

Dress Shopping and Pin It Buttons

Happy Sunday lovely readers!

This week has been full of ups and downs with the diet - those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook will have spotted my new obsession with Banana Smoothies! But I was also bad and had more chocolate than I'd like to admit to.. Must try harder next week!

I finally got a date through for my scan - 19th Feb - so I'll find out what the endo has been up to in the last year. Fingers crossed for no difference, but I don't think I'll be that lucky this time.

The highlight of this week was Wednesday, when I went dress shopping for our engagement party with my nan. I'm not a standard size so inevitably a top that fits my chest will be too big for my stomach and vice versa. Plus I'm short, so dresses don't fall where they're supposed to. I usually try to avoid shopping, but we went in with determination to find something that would fit!

We planned to go to Milsom Street in Bath as they have some little boutique stores, but we ended up on Broad Street first and found a lovely little shop. The owner was fabulous and very friendly - passing me all kinds of dresses to try on as we went through the sale racks. She even let me borrow a pair of heels and some jewellery to see what the 'completed look' would be for each outfit!

I tried on 4 dresses in total, all of which were beautiful. It was a completely new experience for me to try on dresses and love every single one! I was wearing my sister's corset on underneath to smooth the lumps and bumps, but that was my only cheat.

In the end though there was a clear winner. The ladies in the shop were raving about it and my nan was giving it the big thumbs up, so it had to come home with us. For the first time ever, we not only found a dress that fitted with minimal fuss, we did it in the first shop we went to! (I know you're not supposed to buy the first one you find, but when you see it you'll know it was the right call!)

I'm keeping the dress under wraps for now - I've been asked for a sneak peek by so many people already! Now my task is to find accessories to match and I have 12 days left to do so. :)

Another achievement this week was adding Pin It buttons to the blog so you can share it on Pinterest now - a small but happy win! So if you like what you read go ahead and Pin away!

What was your highlight of the week or achievement you're proud of? Sometimes endo can leave us focusing on the negative, it's nice to take a look back and give ourselves high fives for the little things!

The Endometriosis Diet: Alternatives to Wheat & Gluten

Why Cut Out Wheat & Gluten?

Wheat and gluten have been implicated in a number of health and digestive issues and sufferers often have some degree of wheat intolerance, whether that's a simple sensitivity or something more severe like coeliac disease. It can exacerbate conditions such candida and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) which occur frequently alongside endometriosis.

There are a number of theories as to why gluten is such a problem, particularly to endometriosis sufferers, but the exact cause is unknown. The most popular theory is that the mass-produced crops we grow today are vastly different from the original crops. Through genetic modification we've made the crops more resistant and suitable for mass-production, but at what cost to its nutritional value? Combined with the huge number of pesticides and synthetic fertilisers used to grow the crops, wheat is no longer the healthy grain it once was and our bodies are unable to process it as easily anymore.

Symptoms Of Gluten Intolerance

While coeliac disease is a much more severe allergy and has it's own set of symptoms, it does share some common symptoms with the less severe intolerance. The most common symptoms of gluten intolerance are:

• Cramping & bloating
• Gas or a rumbling stomach
• Fatigue and/or headaches
• IBS - either constipation or diarrhoea
• Iron/B12 deficiencies
• Anaemia
• Depression

Gluten Free Effects On Endometriosis

Although cutting gluten from your diet has no guarantee of reducing your pain, this is the case for many of the women who try a gluten free diet. Up to 80% of women with endometriosis who follow a gluten free diet experience a reduction in their cramping, bloating and pain symptoms and of those some even find that they have no endometriosis symptoms at all. For those resisting the idea of trying this diet, isn't that worth just 1 month of changing your diet as a test?

My personal experience is that while sticking strictly to the endometriosis diet I have ~80-90% reduction in my pain symptoms. While mostly following the diet I have ~40-60% reduction and when I don't follow the diet at all (I sometimes slip up and quickly regret it) my symptoms are rather quick to return. Of all the foods cut from this diet, gluten is the one rule I will not break as I can bloat up to 2 clothing sizes bigger within 30 minutes of eating it. In the 18 months I've been on the diet I've only eaten gluten by accident (improperly labelled foods or getting caught out by the trick foods I'll mention below).

Cutting Gluten From Your Diet

Although it sounds extreme, gluten isn't as difficult to cut from your diet as it once was. Most stores usually have a 'Free From' section and many of the big brands are starting to offer gluten free alternatives of their products. Even if your local shops don't have a gluten free section, there are plenty of health shops that stock alternatives such as rice flour, corn flour or oat flour to name just a few of the options!

The best thing to do is eliminate gluten from your diet gradually or you may find yourself with a hefty food bill to begin with! Start by replacing items that run out with gluten free alternatives, such as your bread and pasta. Then over time you can learn new recipes and alternatives and stock up on the necessary ingredients as you need them. Eating a gluten free diet doesn't need to be expensive, but you do have to be willing to cook from scratch and rely less on convenience foods.

If you want cheap, convenient and tasty foods you're out of luck, but you're also forgoing all of the additives and chemical nasties added to food too so don't feel too bad. See those things as a triangle - you can have cheap and tasty if you're willing to put the time in, cheap and convenient if you're less fussed on the taste, or convenient and tasty if you'll spend a little extra on the ingredients, but not all three at once.

To see whether gluten is a problem for you, realistically you need to be eating a completely gluten free diet for at least 2 weeks to see if it has worked. You will experience some benefits of reducing gluten, but only cutting it completely will show true results.

Gluten Free Dining

Making gluten free food at home is relatively simple once you get the hang of it, but what about those special occasions when you want to eat at a restaurant? The best thing to do is look at menus before you go. Coeliac is becoming a more widely understood food intolerance and as a result more and more restaurants are starting to cater to the diet.

Also don't assume anything when it comes to ingredients - some meals are inherently gluten free even if it's not stated on the menu, whereas others seem like they should be gluten free but aren't. (I'm looking at you roast potatoes and gravy...) Over time you'll get used to identifying 'safe' foods and also 'trick' foods - ie the ones that shouldn't have gluten in but always seem to for the fun of it. (Here I'm thinking of Corn Fajitta Wraps. Took me far too long to realise they had wheat in them too!)

Takeaway Cheat Sheet

You may think your days of takeaways and fast food restaurants are long gone when deciding to take on this diet, but you'd be wrong! Here are a few of the restaurants and meals I've found to be gluten free when desperate for an unhealthy fix! (I've stuck to well-known brands here to increase the chances you'll have one nearby - always check local takeaways too as they sometimes have better adapted menus!)

• Nandos - Endo friendly as a whole as it turns out. Ask for their Butterfly Chicken with any sauce you like! You can even skip the salad and team it with their fries as long as you ditch the piri piri salt (boo!).
• McDonalds fries - okay, not a whole meal as most of their foods are breaded or battered, but if you're after a quick salty snack it's better than nothing! (Of course their salads etc. are available too, but who goes to McDs for a salad?!)
• Chiquitos - these guys have a fabulous gluten free menu that can easily be adapted to the endo diet, simply ask for no sour cream/cheese etc.
• Indian Takeaways - if you like it hot, a curry is brilliant for takeaway nights with friends or family. The mild curries always have cream or milk in them, but you can specify no dairy when you order in any place that makes their meals from scratch. (I have my local favourites trained to my tastes now!) Also ask them what their poppadoms are made from. Traditionally they're made with Gram Flour, but some places now use wheat instead.

Alternatives to Wheat

As mentioned earlier, there are a number of alternatives to wheat - particularly when it comes to flour. They vary in price and also application - some are better for savoury foods while others are more suited to cakes and baking. Rice, corn and potato flours are the most common you'll find in gluten free products - particularly breads and wraps, although you may also see tapioca and maize too.

When it comes to baking at home you can buy special gluten-free flour blends, but they tend to be bleached and low in nutritional value. Personally I prefer to use rice flour in most of my baking, although any health food shop will be able to give you a number of options, such as Buckwheat (not actually wheat - just shares the name!), Amaranth, Potato, Chickpea, Millet, Quinoa... the list goes on!

If you're looking for recipes there will be plenty added to this blog over time, or simply try googling them - you'll be amazed at the options out there now!

Roundup

Living a gluten free lifestyle is not as hard as many people make out. It requires some advanced planning and a learning curve upfront, but over time it gets a lot easier to follow than you'd think. You'll learn your favourite recipes and always have the ingredients to hand. You'll find the gluten free friendly cafes and restaurants in your area and you'll even introduce your friends and family to foods they probably haven't tried before and now love! Tom was very anti-cous cous to start with, but now it's a staple in our meals. So give it a try - what is there to lose except the pain of endometriosis?

I'd love to hear your experiences of trying a gluten free diet - the treats you were surprised you could still have and also the things you miss most (Dominos pizza anyone?). Let me know in the comments below!

The Endometriosis Diet: Revisited

I first posted about the diet shortly after I was diagnosed with endometriosis and I was just starting to try it. Since then I've had great success with some parts (for example I've only had gluten a handful of times since then and all were accidents) but less success with others - I'm still not sugar free and the additives/preservatives bit is yet to be attempted.

Since I'm starting up the blog again and renewing my efforts I thought it'd be useful to take another look at what is cut out and why - both for readers and also to strengthen my resolve in abstaining from chocolate! This is gonna be an ~8 part series through the month focusing on what is cut out and why, along with alternatives that I've found over the last 18 months where possible.

So first a quick run down of what's cut out again, along with a little about why:

Wheat/Gluten causes all kinds of nasty symptoms from bloating to IBS. Cutting it out is the difference between me fitting my clothes and living in my stretchy pjs - literally.

Red Meat is full of type 2 prostaglandins (more on these later!), which cause your body to have an inflammatory response. Endometriosis causes inflammation all on its own, so you want to avoid adding to it!

Dairy & Eggs are full of oestrogen, something you probably already have too much of if you have endo. Cutting it from your diet can help reduce the cyclical pain.

Sugar can wreak havoc with your hormones and is particularly known for causing irritability and even rage in some sufferers. It also feeds Candida - a yeast infection in the gut often found alongside endo/IBS.

Caffeine - I'll be honest with you, I can't entirely remember why you cut out caffeine. I've mostly succeeded, but maybe doing the research for this will help my resolve with staying away from coke!

Alcohol doesn't directly affect endometriosis, but it does affect your liver's function. Your liver is the #1 organ for eliminating excess oestrogen from your body, which it can't do all that effectively if it's working on last nights indulging!

Yeast - another food-source of Candida, so a good one to avoid.

Soy(a) is absolutely full of oestrogen. There are some types of soy sauce that are okay dependent on their brewing methods, but apart from that avoid soy at all costs.

Preservatives/Additives are made up of complex chemical compounds - some of which act as endocrine disruptors and xenoestrogens (again, more on these later!). Your hormones are all over the place enough without adding chemical substitutes for your body to deal with.

Personally I've had great success with gluten, red meat (I only broke down and had a beef chilli once and it so wasn't worth it), eggs and soy (the latter two only very occasionally). Medium success with dairy, caffeine and alcohol - I do sometimes slip up with my coke addiction and indulge in alcohol on special occassions. I also haven't been able to completely kick chocolate, so dairy sneaks in now and then. As for sugar, yeast and preservatives/additives, I haven't even started aside from switching to a few natural body products. So if you look at this list and think it seems impossible to even start, don't worry. It's a journey and it'll take time to get used to it. :)

Do you follow the Endo Diet, or a version of it? What do you cut out or slip up on? I'd love to hear your experiences!

BBQ Pulled Pork & Crazy Hormones

BBQ Pulled Pork has been a little obsession of ours lately. Thanks to a friend who was able to get us a lot of pork shoulder for pretty cheap, we were able to indulge more than usual over the last month. I've made 3 giant batches now, totaling about 18 portions of absolutely delicious pork, made even better by the homemade BBQ sauce I made to go along with it. Yum!

January was an interesting month - my hormones have been jumping all over the place and it's made me more than a little irritable. In fact I've even experienced full on rage, which was a new one for me. I think it had to do with having my first cycle in 6 months and it's not a feeling I'm looking to repeat...ever!

January also saw the return of another emotion I battle with occasionally: depression. After doing a vision board workshop I realised that I have rather few hobbies that I indulge in anymore thanks to the endo and for a while I did feel quite upset by it. But it's also a pretty exciting opportunity to explore some new hobbies and get back in touch with old ones (such as reading and blogging!).

On the flip side of all that January also brought me a need to declutter - a lot! I'm still in the middle of the process, but I've sold off some of our bookshelves, taken a few bags to charity and even sorted out my underwear drawer and put some to one side for a homeless shelter. I have a strong desire to purge all of the unnecessary stuff that's accumulated in the flat over the last 2.5 years and make room. Call it hormones or energy, but I suddenly feel a little claustrophobic with all the stuff we own. It's actually nice getting rid of some of it!

This has been a bit of a random post, but I guess that's what crazy hormones do - make everything a little random! I've really enjoyed putting together the first few posts about the Endo Diet and its alternative, so look out for those over the new few weeks. :)

How was January for you? Did you make some great progress on new goals or get distracted and forget them (like my healthy eating idea...)?

A Change In Direction

I can't believe it's almost a year to the day since I wrote my last blog. So much has happened since then! A quick run down of last year for you, before I get on to why I'm actually writing the first new blog for 12 months...

First things first, I got engaged in September! We were on our first holiday with my family in Spain and Tom proposed at midnight on the roof of our villa in a blanket fort. It was the cheesiest, most romantic thing ever and I loved it. :)

My business was also a rollercoaster - growing impressively fast early in the year then tailing off towards the end. December was hibernation mode for me and January has started with a million and one ideas on how to change my business to reflect me a little better.

My relationship with my family has only grown stronger - our experiences in 2013 really did cement some already pretty awesome friendships. I've also made new friends and gotten closer to existing ones, so 2014 was definitely a good year for relationships all round in my life. :)

But that's enough about life. Onto why I'm writing! And how fitting that it's one year since my last post - completely unintentional I assure you. I'm about to enter the next stage of my Endometriosis journey, having some scans to check up on everything and then (all being well) having the Mirena coil removed. This is partly to start the journey of having a family, although I think that one will still take some time, but more importantly I'm taking a much more natural, holistic approach to my endo. My experiences with the diet have been bitter-sweet; when I stick to it everything goes pretty well and I'm largely symptom free still, but if I slip up even slightly it can have some nasty consequences. The first step I'll be taking is to get more strict and more healthy - introducing fitness as well.

What's this got to do with the blog you might be asking? Well I want to document it all. I'll finally be sharing full details of the diet that I failed to finish last time, including recipes I find useful and alternatives to things you can't have on the diet. For example last night I made some caramel cookies that were completely endo friendly. Would you believe it?
I'll also be including any therapies that help, product alternatives to the chemical-filled ones you'll find in supermarkets. exercises that ease pain... all of it. Much like I used to track my eco adventures, I'll now be tracking my endo adventures (with some eco thrown in of course - I haven't changed that much!) in the hopes that it could help someone else going through the same. And the therapeutic effect writing gives me. ;)

I've already got billions of ideas for blogs popping into my head, but I won't be posting everything all at once. If my past unreliability has taught me anything, it's to pace the blogs and have some prepared in advance, so that's what I'm off to do!

If you have any questions about endo, the diet, recipe requests - anything at all - just leave them in the comments and I'll be sure to respond! :)

Reflection - My Story

I'm awake. Awake and in pain. A familiar yet unfamiliar pain that I haven't felt in almost 5 months now.

Rather than get annoyed, I find myself reflecting on the last year and all it's brought me.

12 months ago I was experiencing just the beginning of what would soon become daily agony. I didn't know that I was soon to experience crippling pain that would have me sleeping on the living room floor wrapped in heat pads and blankets, on the strongest painkillers the doctors would give me, all in the hope of an hour or two of sleep before work. Pain that bloated my body and made every day a surprise of whether I'd make it to the end of the work day. Weekly osteopath appointments would just about keep me standing with the back pain and weekly doctor appointments would become more and more frustrating as my suffering fell on deaf ears.

9 months ago was the start of the pain. After 3 months of particularly bad 'womens problems' the pain was no longer just a symptom of an (extended) 'time of the month'. The pain became my month - all of it. And then it became two months. Then three and finally four. Four months of pain that was completely unexplained and the doctor settled upon IBS as the diagnosis from Day One. When each drug didn't work I was given another. Diet advice. Pain relief. No offer of an alternative diagnosis, further testing or anything that would've looked into the real cause.

7 months ago came the first blood test. The first admission that it might not just be IBS. By this point I hadn't slept in weeks and I was so bloated I looked 6 months pregnant. Work was becoming a struggle and I was starting to suffer depression from the constant pain. That blood test showed I had signs of infection in my blood, but no antibiotics were offered. Just an appointment in two weeks time for another blood test "to see if it's gone."

6.5 months ago came blood test number two. All my hopes pinned on this one - something had to show. Something that would explain everything. But life stepped in before I got those results.

Sunday 28th July I was in agony - even more so than usual and I couldn't even sit still. My blanket of heat pads didn't cut it and I rang the NHS advice line to find out what my options were at 9pm on a Sunday night. Within an hour I was at Frenchay Hospital Out of Hours GP seeing a lovely doctor who was probably the first to touch on the real problem. But he wasn't to be the one who would save me. Being late on a Sunday night he advised I visit my GP the next day. So back to my GP I went, for my blood tests to show more infection. And once more I was given an appointment in two weeks "to see if it's gone."

But Tuesday 30th July changed it all. Sat in my mum's kitchen I was in tears, not because of the pain but because I gave up. My family was outraged at the way I was being ignored, but I was just used to it. My fight left me that morning and I resigned myself to constant pain. I told my mum that someone else would have to fight for me, because I just couldn't anymore.

It's funny how the universe knows when you mean it. And I couldn't have meant it more. I was defeated. Within 30 minutes I was white and throwing up. Laying limply on the sofa an emergency doctors appointment was made  for the afternoon. It's funny looking back that I didn't consider it serious enough for an ambulance even at that point. It was 'just IBS' after all.
That afternoon I saw a different GP. If angels exist she is one of them, because she saved me that day. I had a fever on top of the vomiting and I was sent straight home to pack for Frenchay. Something was very wrong.

At midnight after seeing a number of doctors and being sent to a different hospital I was finally admitted to the Gynae ward in Southmead Hospital with a suspected infection of my fallopian tubes. Tears streamed down my face for most of the night, especially at 2am when my mum had to admit defeat and head home to sleep. It was all just too much.

Wednesday 31st July I got my first glimpse of a real diagnosis. A scan showed two cysts - 8cm and 4cm - one on each ovary. My insides were a puzzle; it took them a lot of searching to find my ovaries in the first place as they were up by my bellybutton, touching in the middle. Blood tests also showed I had not one, but two infections. The one that had caused my fever but also a chronic infection that had been around for at least a month by that time. A very nice consultant gave me the news; it was either an abcess or endometriosis. I was put on antibiotics and watched constantly - if it was an abcess and it burst I'd need emergency surgery, but they wanted to wait until the infection was under control before surgery if possible.

I spent the next few days staying positive, meeting each new patient as they came and went and getting to know the nurses. I've never been more grateful for my family (especially my mum and Tom) as not a visiting hour went by that I wasn't surrounded by people, presents and food.

This time 6 months ago it was Thursday 1st August - the day before the first of two operations that changed my life in so many ways. In every way.

Me with presents after Op #1

On Friday 2nd August an exploratory laparoscopy showed I had Stage 4 (severe) endometriosis. I would need another surgery once the cysts had been shrunk as it was too dangerous to cut them out at that point. I was given Zoladex to put me into a medical menopause for 3 months which would shrink the cysts and conversations delicately skirted around the real fear we all had. Would it affect my fertility?

3 months ago I came to the end of a new hell; the menopause was not kind to me. I was angry a lot of the time, depressed the rest and fighting to see an end to any of it. I'd also started on the Endometriosis Diet and combined with the Zoladex September and October were almost pain free for me. In one way I was so grateful for that relief, but in another the hormones took that gratitude from me as I was too emotional to enjoy it. And it still wasn't a solution. Zoladex was just a stop-gap on the way to the next surgery.

On Friday 22nd November I was admitted once more for another laparoscopy - this time to cut away the cysts and any endo they could get to. They were also checking my fertility and making sure all was working okay. At pre-op I'd been told I would be going home that night, but my consultant said it wouldn't be until the next day at least. So mum went off to work to keep occupied and I was taken off to surgery.

That afternoon I came around just long enough to hear the results before sleeping the rest of the day and night. The cysts were gone but they had bad news about my bowel, which was attached to my fallopian tubes. It was too risky to cut them apart, so they'd been left. And in my haze I almost missed it as the consultant said my fallopian tubes were blocked. I sat in shock and at that point I could only muster a few tears. I didn't believe it. Of all the things I thought they might say, my fertility was the one thing I'd been sure of. As the consultant explained further I just stared at her blankly. Once she was gone I could barely keep my eyes open. I knew I should be talking to mum and Tom, but the pull of sleep was too strong and so I sent them home. Sleep provided me with an escape from all the things I just couldn't cope with right then. The next day I was discharged from the hospital and left to the care of my family.

And now here we are, 2 months on. There are still so many things I'm struggling to come to terms with and I think it'll be a while before I do. But this morning has me reflecting on all the things I've overcome. I'm now pain free, completely. I've lost a stone and everyone tells me I've got my sparkle back. Not only am I back at work, my own business is now 3 months old (yup - started before the op!) and thriving. I've started with a personal trainer to regain the core strength I've lost and I'm improving my diet constantly. I've made new friends along the journey too.

With my cousin and sister at Christmas.

But I think the best reward I've had from all of this is the relationship with my family. The support they've given me brings me to tears. There aren't words to describe what it means to me - my mum and Tom never left my side. Mum with her pep talks, her sympathetic ear and her endless patience in waiting rooms. Tom with his bear hug every time it all got too much, his constant support and his endless patience with my mood swings! Kassi with her sunny outlook on everything and her ability to make me laugh so hard I had to curl into a ball to protect my stitches. My grandparents with their endless generosity, helping me with anything I needed and just being there. And not forgetting my Dad who brought me crisps and Rachel who brought me magazines and distraction. I couldn't have done it without them. I still couldn't. They're my support, my inspiration and what keeps me going.

So there's my story. I don't want your sympathy, that wasn't the point. But now you know a little more about me and why I sometimes need a moment to compose myself or have to excuse myself from plans when I get tired. If you know me I hope it's given you insight into why I've been so absent from a social life lately and if you don't know me, I hope it's given you hope. Or at least been interesting to read for a while.

If you have any questions or stories of your own I'd love to hear them. You can leave a comment below or if it's personal you can email me: amirosemarshall@gmail.com

Thank you for reading.

Christmas Preparations!

Good evening!

Today I wanted to share with you my preparations for Christmas, since the big day is fast approaching! (Seriously, it's December... when did THAT happen?!)

So far the tree is up, Christmas dinner is planned and everything I need to make the girls' presents has been bought. I know what the boys' presents will be, just need to buy in the bits and pieces to make them now! I'll be setting some time aside this weekend to put the gifts together for the girls as I've got our Christmas party coming up on the 14th and I need to leave some fussing time!

I can't pick the element I'm most excited about this year, other than to say it's how all the homemade elements turn out. It's my first year making presents and also cooking Christmas dinner for Tom, Kassi and myself. I can't wait to see reactions to each of the gifts and to have a homely, relaxed Christmas day!

After Christmas I'll be doing a homemade gifts series with How-To Guides on everything I make. Nothing I've chosen is Christmas-specific so you'll be able to use them for any gift-giving occasion. I'll also be sharing my tips and tricks for keeping Christmas low-cost, high-fun based on my experiences this year. I know it's a bit late for this year, but since this year is the first time I'm doing it all I want to make sure it's good advice that works before sharing!

What have you been doing to prepare for the big day? Are you going homemade this year too? Let me know in the comments!

Our tree looking pretty!