A note to friends and family...

Something I've noticed about endometriosis is that this disease has taken over my entire life. That seems like a dramatic statement, but it's all I think about and I talk about little else too. I didn't mean it to and I certainly don't want it to, but for now it seems it has. When asked how I am there's nothing else to talk about as it's crept into every aspect of my life. Our finances have been stretched and twisted in ways we didn't think possible. Every meal has to be carefully planned and work days sometimes take crazy tangents as we deal with my various symptoms. Trips to see the in-laws are no longer simple and my answers to invitations now have the suffix "...as long as I'm not too tired/in pain/recovering from my op/etc."

The biggest thing affected has to be my social life. Most people have been understanding when receiving the above response and I can't thank them enough for all of their support. But already I can see disbelief in some people's eyes (or feel it in their messages) that I could be so far affected by endo that it would prevent me from doing x, y or z.

To those people I say this: I know you're skeptical. If you haven't experienced the unpredictability of this illness before then to even imagine the extent it can affect your life will be difficult. But please believe me when I say I want to be at your event/see you socially/whatever else you've invited me to do. I would love to say an unequivocal 'Yes' without the ifs, buts and maybes attached. There is nothing I want more than to socialise, celebrate and experience things with my friends and family. Please know that if I have to back out of plans, it is upsetting me more than its disappointing you.

My body has become unpredictable. I can be fine one minute and in pain or exhausted the next. My hormones flip upside down without warning and a light-hearted joke can shatter me in an instant. That sounds dramatic and I assure you it is.

I put up with it because it's also allowed me the most heart-felt belly laughs I've had in years. The true friends have stepped forward in my life and my family relationships have never been so strong. I have a sense of purpose in life and I've found my energy again (around lots of naps!).

My life is a whirlwind of symptoms and emotions at the moment so forward planning is near impossible. My social life has become a juggling act and occassionally some things will drop. But if you're a true friend and you stick with me through it all I can promise that any time there's a choice over what to drop, it won't be you.